Category Archives: Fun & Humor

Strange Wetlands: Sci-Fi TV Review: “Swamp Thing” (DC Universe, 2019) Series (Coming Soon to the CW, Fall 2020)

“The swamp. It’s been damaged. It’s been abused.” –Swamp Thing

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Swamp Thing (DC Universe photo, 2019)

Bugs. Angry trees. Flesh-eating bacteria.

These are typical relationship problems between a scientist working in “epidemic intelligence” for the CDC, and a giant green monster, whose entire body is not only covered, but comprised of plant-material: vines, leaves, stems and tendrils. She’s petite, brilliant, fearless (sort of), and tenacious.

Swamp Thing has red eyes; his voice is a roar in the swamp. He is/was a biologist, researching a bio-restorative formula that might (have) advance(d) science and medicine—but something goes awry in the swamp during a reconnaissance mission. (Don’t you hate when your standard, run-of-the-millpond data collection sampling task transforms you accidentally into the data itself? It’s transformative. Wetland research, that is. But this TV series is a science-fiction series with very little reference to wetland ecology, which is one of the few things I found disappointing about it. (There are some references to cypress trees. I don’t think other plant species are named.)

When I started writing this blog series, I was fascinated with the original “Swamp Thing” comic series, and penned an “Ode to Swampthing” years ago. Later, I posted my take on “How to Design a Swampthing Costume.”

This is my review of the 2019 sci-fi TV series, “Swamp Thing,” (DC Universe, 2019) and why I feel it’s eerily timely (and binge-worthy) for wetland devotees. It’s going to appear on the CW this fall; it’s currently available on Amazon Prime and the DC channel. Len Wiseman is one of the directors and executive producers. Wiseman directed and produced the cool, dark “Underworld” series of vampire and werewolf flicks (which I loved), so I am drawn to other projects of Wiseman’s. This version of “Swamp Thing” has a good balance of light and dark, or I should say, a balance between the “green and the darkness,” the tension in the story, the threat facing the swamp’s ecology. The “darkness” is depicted as rotting vegetation, decay, vegetation overtaken by some kind of fungi, and rot as a metaphor for death. Unlike most swamp-horror on the screen, there are no suspenseful scenes with gators, crocodiles, or cottonmouths, or pythons. (There is a scary snake scene, but it’s not in the swamp.)

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The TV series was “cancelled” on other channels; I suspect that the producers and television managers didn’t think viewers at home would be interested in watching a series about a mysterious disease that’s nearly impossible to treat, spreads easily, causes tragic death and mayhem. In my opinion, I have had zero interest in watching “Tiger King” or some of the other shows that have popular almost to a cult following in 2020. Maybe I have strange taste? I am intrigued by the premise of this “Swamp Thing” revival and its chief conflict: Nature v. Man. So, without spoiling any fun for those who have yet to see “Swamp Thing,” you can probably guess a few things. Yes, the swamp is both the setting and a “character,” if that makes any sense. I appreciate the balance of creepy, supernatural effects with the “realness” of the swamp–the vegetation part of it anyway. There are few signs of wildlife in the series, which is odd, aside from insects. Lots and lots of insects! The heroine, Dr. Abby Arcane, is a practical woman. She wears practical outfits, although, I am surprised that she doesn’t wear rubber boots or hip-waders. She’s level-headed. She’s a logical thinker, but she has a vulnerable side, too–so she’s got the makings for a wetland-heroine. She cares about people–but she’s at home in the swamp.

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There are environmental violators who dump substances, illegally, into the swamp. And the swamp “fights back.” In a totally science-fiction way, at times, with horrific, gory special effects that emphasize the fecundity of insects in the swamp, the vegetation in the swamp begins to defend itself against the attacks of the environmental violators. For anyone who ventures into the swamp, no matter their intentions, the swamp seems to trigger traumatic memories. The trees remember. The plants have “memories” and they remember all of the violations (illegal dumping, bulldozers, axes, toxins, crimes, etc.)

No Spoiler alerts: I won’t give away any of the plot, although it draws from the original comic series, and involves many of the original characters. This series takes place in a small fictional, coastal town of Marais, Louisiana. (The show is filmed in North Carolina.) French for swamp, “Marais” was also the setting for the 1982 film, “Swamp Thing,” starring Adrienne Barbeau, Ray Wise, and Dick Durock (as Swamp Thing). I’m not able to review the 1982 film, but I gather that the 2019 series draws some parallels, and even takes directly from their film posters to promote the 2019 series. Adrienne Barbeau reprises her role as the CDC’s Dr. Palomar, a director who supervises the work of Dr. Abby Arcane, the heroine of the 2019 Swamp Thing. See the two photos below.

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“Swamp Thing” (Film, 1982)

In the 2019 revival, Crystal Reed (of “Teen Wolf”) plays Dr. Abby Arcane, a brilliant doctor with the CDC, who grew up in the town of Marais, but for mysterious and tragic reasons, left for college fourteen years prior to her return to Marais in her official capacity for the CDC, which has sent her to Marais to deal with a strange and deadly disease, locally called “the green flu,” that somehow comes from the swamp. When Dr. Arcane visits the hospital for the first time, she encounters a charming yet arrogant plant biologist, Dr. Alec Holland, (played by Andy Bean) who tells her, “You’re going to want to talk to me.” Eventually, he convinces her to visit his lab that’s in a river cabin on stilts.  Fortunately, he’s not creepy, and he has a nice dog, and they talk. Dr. Holland shows her the strange discovery he’s made about the way the plants are growing; there’s some kind of accelerant in the swamp that’s creating lightning-fast growth.

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At no point in the series does Dr. Abby Arcane dress in a white frilly nightgown and sprawl in the swamp. She wears practical jeans, shirts, hiking boots, cargo jackets. She carries a flashlight, gear to collect samples. This promo poster (at the right) seems to sell some kind of sexual promise that is never fulfilled. Frankly, I didn’t need the nightgown-in-the-swamp scene.

Swamp soulmates? Alec and Abby really click.

Alec and Abby share stories from their past; they bond. They team up to figure out what’s causing the disease, to treat the patients dying of the “green flu,” and to analyze his findings of the unusual plant growth in the swamp. Dr. Holland sets out to collect further samples in the swamp. Dr. Arcane returns to the hospital to treat her first patient, a little girl named Susie Coyle, whose father has died of the “green flu,” in grotesque, horrific ways; she’s in the hospital with green snot. This wouldn’t be so unusual to see except that she seems to hear what the plants are “saying” to her. Something bizarre happens to Dr. Holland while he’s collecting samples in the swamp. Without ruining the suspense for readers, we all know from the comics that Dr. Holland becomes Swamp Thing. While in the full green costume, Derek Mears plays the Swamp Thing. Jennifer Beals (Flashdance, The Bride, The L-Word) plays the local sheriff, Lucilla Cable, a strong character, whose son, Matt, is also on the Marais police department (portrayed by Henderson Wade); Matt is a love-interest of Abby’s and was her high school classmate.

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Henderson Wade and Jennifer Beals in “Swamp Thing,” 2019

When Dr. Abby Arcane returns to Marais, she reconnects with old friends, but is haunted by the memory of her best friend, Shauna, who died under tragic circumstances in the swamp two nights before their high school graduation. Shauna’s parents, the wealthy, prominent Sunderlands (played by Will Patten and Virginia Madsen) are also Abby’s former foster parents. There’s some toxicity there—metaphorically juxtaposed by the illegal dumping of other (mysterious) toxins and substances in the swamp. It’s clear that the Sunderlands are at the heart of everything “dark” and illegal in town—but they live in a garish mansion, and keep up appearances at town hall meetings.

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One of my favorite moments occurs in Episode 7 of the first season of “Swamp Thing,” as Abby and Alec, who she can see as his former “charming self” through a mist of hallucinogenic flower swamp fairy dust, walk together in the swamp. (See photo above of the scene.) This is their conversation:

Dr. Abby Arcane: “I’ve spent my entire child in Marais, hours in the swamp, and I don’t think I’ve seen it this lush before. Plums appear. Flowers bloom. How is any of this happening?”

Swamp Thing/Dr. Alec Holland: “It’s …uh…a little hard to explain. Only that it’s not connected to a world that has anything to do with logic.”

Abby/Dr. Arcane: “Or science.”

Swamp Thing/Alec: “Well, science is real. It’s profound. But now I know that there’s other parts of this world that are just as profound, just as natural.”

Abby: “Like the green.”

The “green” is part of the essence of the swamp. It’s the very life of the swamp—its vegetation, its ecology, its deep ecology. And there’s a darkness, too. A dark ecology. The darker elements of the series stem from the destruction of the swamp. Locals who disrespect the natural ecology—whether by poaching, dumping and doing other “bad things” in the swamp, they’ve got some pretty bad swamp karma. And once the swamp starts “fighting back,” things get scary. Some scenes contain graphic violence, gore, largely of a plant-nature, however, sensitive viewers should be aware that there are scenes that truly could be called sci-fi horror. Personally, I dislike horror. Some scenes were too gross for me, but I watched the series because I was so enthralled with the story, and the character development, primarily of the hero (Swamp Thing/Dr. Alec Holland) and heroine (Dr. Abby Arcane), who both deeply respect the nature of the swamp. Dr. Arcane continually says that she is on the “human side” of this fight. Dr. Holland, a plant biologist, and once he’s Swamp Thing, he’s tapped into the “plant side” of the conflict. Be forewarned, however, if you’ve got any sensitivity around the themes of water-related or swamp-related death, including death by drowning, or if the sight of insects bothers you, this isn’t the series for you. For wetland regulators, and those who work in the fields of wetland science, policy, or wetland conservation, it might appeal to you—as long as you bear in mind that this is science fiction (sci-fi fantasy, bordering on sci-fi horror) with a wetland-hero, who punishes the violators.

Of course, there’s a mad scientist. Kevin Durand plays the strange mad scientist, Dr. Jason Woodrue, who is trying to find a cure for his wife’s Alzheimer’s, which is a noble cause. But his methods are atrocious, unethical, and unconventional. Think: vivisection.

The show also has some spotty plot-holes that take us out of the swamp, if temporarily. Tarot card readings (which, in my opinion, don’t include any real understanding of Tarot). Unethical research funding proposals. Infidelity. A strange, recurring guest-appearance by Ian Ziering (90210, Sharknado, Spiderman, JAG), who plays a guy who has a weird sort of “deal with the devil” that forces him to remain in Marais (not a well-developed aspect of the story, I’m afraid). Ziering’s character has a heroic moment later in the season as the “Blue Devil,” an electric fiery rescue-ranger.  The tragic loss of 18 year old Shauna Sunderland (one of the darker elements to the plot) that’s part of Abby’s back-story, adds a swamp-ghost story to the mix.

Swamp Thing: “That fight we just saw… it’s all around us. Here in the swamp. And it’s a fight to the death. Maybe I’ve turned into this thing to be a warrior in that battle.”

One thing that strikes me in this series is that Swamp Thing is a sympathetic, intelligent anti-hero, and he’s very sensitive. Despite his glowing red eyes, the costume designers and make-up artists on this production did a very good job of portraying this wetland-hero with a compelling nature. He’s not goofy-looking or just a big green monster. The actor who portrays Swamp Thing, Derek Mears, also does a very good job of delivering an authentic blend of the original comic hero with a contemporary sensitivity. I like it. I will be intrigued to see if CW decides to create a second season; as it stands, the DC Universe cancelled the show, and decided not to create a second season. There are ten episodes of Swamp Thing’s first season, and it has an “unfinished” feel to it at the end, due to the cancellation of the show mid-production.

Despite that, I liked this series.

Romantic Ecology: Fairy Tale or Serious Thing?

If you’re like me, you can’t resist a good fairy tale. I’ve been hooked on the new CBS series, “Grimm,” based on the Brothers Grimm fairy tales. One of the theories in analysis of fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen is that the characters in fairy tales represent problems in nature that humans must face. Sometimes a fairy tale depicts a “lost Eden,” a lost paradise, but in more cases, a fairy tale presents an environmental problem and the characters symbolize various solutions. Often the hero of the fairy tale makes a choice based on something equivalent to “best professional judgment” and the morals to the story deal with making the “right choice.” Many of Andersen and Grimm fairy tales were set in a natural environment—a marsh—as in “The Marsh King’s Daughter,” the woods, a riverbank, even—in the case of Thumbelina, upon the water lily pads in a stream. This has been called “nature romanticism,” or “Romantic Ecology.” 

            Thumbelina – a wetland fairy tale

Far out in the stream grew a number of water-lilies, with broad green leaves, which seemed to float on the top of the water. The largest of these leaves appeared farther off than the rest, and the old toad swam out to it with the walnut-shell, in which little Thumbelina lay still asleep. The tiny little creature woke very early in the morning, and began to cry bitterly when she found where she was, for she could see nothing but water on every side of the large green leaf, and no way of reaching the land. Meanwhile the old toad was very busy under the marsh, decking her room with rushes and wild yellow flowers, to make it look pretty for her new daughter-in-law. Then she swam out with her ugly son to the leaf on which she had placed poor little Thumbelina. The old toad bowed low to her in the water, and said, “Here is my son, he will be your husband, and you will live happily in the marsh by the stream.” For the full fairy tale, click here.

Readers may recognize the imagery associated with “romantic ecology” in fairy tales like Andersen’s “Thumbelina.” This romanticism is present in some classic poetry and other literature, too. Romantic ecology is a phrase first coined by Jonathan Bates in his book, Romantic Ecology: Wordsworth and the Environmental Tradition (1991) but the term is later used by a number of environmental writers. Romantic ecology in literature is believed to have shaped environmental consciousness and action, influencing readers of poetry and literature—spanning a wide spectrum of people with varied beliefs and values—and appealing to their sense of the natural world. For some, the idea of a “paradise lost,” a beloved homeland or wild place, which has since been developed for urban or suburban use, is most persuasive. For others, it’s simply the beauty of nature—a romanticized version, seeing the naturalenvironment through rose-colored lenses, as depicted in love poems or nature writing from the era of The Romantics that inspires readers to fall in love with the environmental cause. I must admit I fell under their spell, long ago as a teen-ager. My high school classmates weren’t assigned to read The Romantics—but a favorite aunt encouraged me to read Wordsworth and Blake, for starters, and I’m sure that their words affected my budding interest in ecology. I carried thick biology books along with slim volumes of poetry as if they were a combined discipline.

But is it just a fairy tale, or does “romantic ecology” give roots to something more important? The writings of early American “nature writers” persuaded us to shift our perception of the environment—in essence, to care about it. In the early part of the 20thcentury, critics of the Nature-Study Movement wrestled with whether it was a romanticized version of ecology, or if it should be taken seriously. Given the success of that movement, and how The Romantics are required reading for any student of environmental studies in colleges today, it is clear that “Romantic Ecology” is beyond the blush of fairy tales. It’s gotten serious.

How to Make a Swampthing Halloween Costume

Admit it: You’ve always wanted to go to a Halloween costume ball dressed as Hydrilla the Invasive Aquatic Witch.  No? What about Swampthing? Designing original—and often, obscure—Halloween costumes is a specialty of mine. Growing up in haunted houses with a childhood phobia of rubber masks has made it a big deal for me to venture out to any Halloween event. But I have over-compensated by turning the fear factor into a challenge:  the fun of coming up with an original costume that will surely win points in a costume contest.  Readers may remember my Ode to Swampthing in which it was revealed that the original Swampthing’s costume was made of heavy thick rubber. That’s not very realistic for the average Trick-or-Treater, or costume party-attendee. Here’s a Strange Wetlands take on the Swampy costume, or if you prefer,Creature of the Black Lagoon, or Black Lagoon Lady. Images are from others’ take on it.

Wetland professionals probably have most of the necessary materials for a Swampthingcostume. If not, it would be easy enough to assemble some of these things to augment what you don’t already own. Pull together the following things:

  1. An old wet suit (already torn, or one that can be cut)—or, waders/rubber boots
  2. Old rubber gloves, preferably green – as many pairs (up to 10 pairs) as possible
  3. Netting – e.g. fishnet stockings, fishing net that can be altered and stained green or black
  4. Dark green wig, or dye a light-colored wig dark green, or buytemporary green hair spray
  5. Green plastic bath loofa sponge (or a couple of them)
  6. Real or fake vegetation (houseplant cuttings, weeds from the garden, wrack, or artificial green vines, plastic flowers) Or, cut strips of green cords, or gift wrapping ribbon
  7. Elmer’s glue and green body paint, green, black and brown Halloween make-up, or real mud—to create scales; optionally, colored glitter
  8. Green bathing suit/tank top/tights/short dress (for women) or green shorts/pants and tee shirt/tank top (men) Last resort, green sweat/work pants will suffice.
  9. Small clean sponges for applying green body paint or make-up (to create scale effect)
  10. Paper plates (preferably green, at least 10 paper plates)

While there are many variations on how to create the underlying “Swampthing” costume, which ranges from wearing parts of an old wet suit to green clothing and rubber boots—to a full-bodied foam suit spray-painted with two shades of green, the main challenge is to create an aquatic look, without dripping all over the dance floor.  The degree of difficulty varies from costume to costume.

Step 1. To make gills, cut paper plates into pie-shaped triangles with the scalloped edges included.  Layer three pieces of paper plate, fan out the shape and glue the points together.  Fasten twosets of “gills” on either side of a hair band, or pin them into the wig/hair to hide your real ears.

Step 2. To create webbed fingers, use glue and green body paint to add a thin layer between fingers, or stretch an old pair of green tights over your hands, cutting the nylon to make fingerless gloves.  As an alternative, wear green rubber gloves and glue fake green fingernails onto the fingertips of the gloves to create monster claws. (See also, Martha Stewart photo). Alternatively, use an old pair of gardening gloves and add strips of green tissue paper to the fingers to create a scraggly look.

Step 3. Create a scales effect. Stretch fishnet stockings (or fishing net) over arms, parts of the neck and face, and apply green body paint or make-up over the netting to create a patterned effect that looks like scales; remove the fish netting to reveal the pattern. 

Optionally, apply body glitter here and there to create a wet, sparkling—fresh from the swamp look! A little goes a long way.

Step 4. Fake a supernatural aquatic look. Create the look of water bubbles sticking to skin or fake “scales” by squeezing a soapy sponge or plastic bath loofa in a few places, leaving suds behind to dry. Apply green/yellow/brown costume make-up to face and neck in clumpy dabs to create the appearance of bumpy, scaly skin. Or, if you want a more appealing version, use green make-up, eye shadows and lipstick.  For full supernatural effect, make an aquatic-looking Swampthing nose and ears with fimo polymer clay or soft nose putty, fastened to an altered animal nose worn around the head on an elastic string, or simply apply make-up artistically to distort facial features. Alternatively, glue bits of moss or fake moss (as found with model train sets) onto face, neck and arms.  A Google search can show several ideas for costume make-up.

Step 5 (optional). Make it scary. Use toilet paper and glue, applied to the face with a papier mâché method, to create a scary aquatic look. See this video for a quick how-to (an alternative to wearing a store-bought rubber mask—warning, this look is frightful): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iemwLymV0uk

Step 6. Assume a “vegetated” state.Assemble what you plan to use for weeds, vines and leaves—and it’s up to you whether to use a combination of real and fake vegetation.  Keep in mind:  don’t trail invasive weeds to someone’s Halloween party. Garden supply stores, craft stores and flower shops carry silk flowers and plastic plants, often with vines, cattails and weedy choices. Alternatively, use strips of green cloth.

Here are some other alternatives to using real vegetation:  Unravel green bath loofas and sponge dark green paint onto parts of the loofa netting and leave it to dry for a while.  After the loofas are dry, loosely wrap the long netted parts of the unraveled loofas around arms and waist to create a vegetated look. Or, curl green, black and yellow/gold ribbon and hang this from a belt, tank top strap, pin onto a tee shirt, and/or fasten into a messy looking green/black wig. Instead, if preferable, wear a hunter’s camouflage hat with the fake tree litter attached to it and wear camouflage netting. Create the look of leaves using real leaves and wax paper—the same way kids seal fall foliage in wax paper—but with green leaves. Cut out the leaves, keeping a wax paper border to prevent them from falling out, and glue to various parts of your costume.
The wax paper will make the leaves look wet.

Step 7. Walk like a swamp creature. (Optional) Decorate a pair of diving fins with washable green paint, glitter and/or molding clay. The ideal look to achieve is along the lines of webbed feet, or “Creature from the Black Lagoon” alligator feet.

Alternate articles with other ideas on designing a swamp-themed Halloween costume:

Here’s a guy who went all out for his Swampthing Halloweencostume and tested it in this video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MwSlNJIuNc

Martha Stewart’s silk leaf swamp costume—a more conservative option (for men and women):http://www.marthastewart.com/274774/no-sew-halloween-costumes/@center/276965/halloween#268517

A variation on Swampthing costume (totally covered in weeds):http://www.halloween-online.com/costumes/swamp-thing-halloween-costume.html

How to make a Swampthing or sea creature costume (intended for kids): http://www.ehow.com/how_2316666_make-swamp-thing-halloween-costume.html

Swamp Monster make-up and costume how-to video (for teens and adults):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WXJsslkR6I

Fun Wetland TV Shows

In a past SW post, I recommended some good wetland documentaries and educational films in this previous post. But wetlands show up in other types of media. Some TV shows take a less serious approach to using wetlands to set the scene. Others are educational. It’s nothing new to feature a wetland-rich setting for a TV series. But it seems like wetlands are gaining ground in popular shows like True Blood, Swamp People and The River, which premieres Feb. 7, 2012.

Mysteries of the Amazon. A new dark mystery-drama set in the Amazon called “The River” will leave you at the edge of your seat. See a trailer and explore this thriller-mystery series here.  The River looks eerie and suspenseful, and reminds me of Peter Benchley’s1999-2000 mini-series, “Amazon,” which beat the show “Lost” to the punch! Benchley’s story took place in a remote part of the Amazon rainforest, where a community of people were so isolated, they still spoke Elizabethan English and didn’t have modern conveniences—until a plane crashed, making for an intense, weird drama. (I liked it a lot, but then I am a big fan of all of Benchley’s stories. Just to get you hooked, watch Part 1 here.)

Reality TV has been the “in” thing for over a decade now. There are two wetland-related reality shows of interest. “Swamp People,” a History channel show, features the lives of alligator hunters in Louisiana. Also, an episode of Dirty Jobs: Wetland Warrior, followed TV host Mike Rowe on his adventure in the Florida Everglades.

Public Television Programs. Iowa Public Television featured a series of programs on lakes, marshes, streams, floodplains and forested wetlands. For more information about this series, go to:http://www.iptv.org/series.cfm/15216/freshwater_wetlands/ep:104/episodes

Science Education for Kids. Dragonfly TV – a public television series based in North Carolina featuring hands-on science activities and investigations had one episode that brought young girls to coastal wetlands; this led to the creation of a children’s show called “SciGirls,” which encourages girls to get interested in science.http://pbskids.org/scigirls/ This is similar in theme to Bill Nye the Science Guy’s program, which has had several episodes on wetlands (a three-part series here).

Science fiction. In this genre, the sky’s the limit. The SyFy Channel offers a few strange choices, including “Swamp Shark,” a TV movie about invasive sharks in Louisiana’s bayous that airs Saturday June 25th.  The highly anticipated 4th season of “True Blood,” a sci-fi fantasy series about vampires, werewolves and other supernatural beings in Louisiana and Mississippi just started on HBO. The show’s colorful locals frequently hunt and hide in the familiar swamps; the lead heroine, Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress, lives beside a swamp and a cemetery. Incidentally, this show has a great swamp rock soundtrack!

Environmental-Themed Drama. The newest TV show with an environmental theme—and plenty of wetlands—is called “Terra Nova,” a Fox series in which a select group of people travel back in time (because humans have depleted natural resources by the year 2149) to prehistoric Earth. It’s like “Jurassic Park” in reverse. PROs: there’s a lot of vegetation and a good water supply. CONs: Large predators abound. Yes, dinosaurs. Apparently TV writers are either being pessimistic here or not interested in putting their protagonists in real-life wetland-management situations.

Update June 2012: Great A&E detective show, “The Glades” takes place in the Florida Everglades. Features environmental crime plots, endangered species, etc. It’s available on Netflix and on the A&E channel.

Once upon a Vernal Pool

Late at night, I listen to the peepers in the vernal pool down in my woods. During a vernal pool monitoring project run by the University of Maine at Orono in 2009, I learned that most wood frogs leave a vernal pool at the northeastern point of the pool and head for uplands, where they spend the summer. But a few less successful frogs go in the wrong direction. I wondered what happens to those frogs. It seemed like a riddle that prompted answering…

Yet another challenge recently there has been a lot of discussion about proposed legislative changes to protection for significant vernal pools in Maine. Many experts testified at an April 25th hearing in Augusta on the importance of vernal pool protections. They achieved their goal and the committee voted to keep the state’s vernal pool protection laws, which have been in place since 2006. For a fact sheet on Vernal Pool Regulation in Maine, see http://www.nae.usace.army.mil/reg/VernalPoolRegulationMaineFAQ.pdf For more information about the University of Maine’s Vernal Pool Project, visit:http://www.umaine.edu/vernalpools/

The vernal pool in my woods inspired this poem about a wayward wood frog named Wren.

Once upon a Vernal Pool

Once upon a midnight clearing
April rains had ceased to fall
A lonely loon far off called dearly
Wood frogs, from a vernal pool,
Carefully crawled.

Most had spawned, left the pool
Heading northeast to uplands
Except for Wren, the little fool,
A wood frog who lived for wetlands.

Little Wren, so full of cheer,
Chirped into the late May nights
When all of her friends disappeared,
She hopped to it, setting her sights

On a stream she crossed in floods
That Big Night. Fast water trailed
Down through the thick woods
And Wren climbed aboard a stick
With trembling leaves, she sailed.

To read full poem, click here.

Assumption: Don’t Play This Over Untamed Waters

Logically speaking, an assumption is a supposition, the product of the verb—to assume—which can mean to take upon oneself; to presuppose; to take for granted; to pretend to have/be; or the archaic definition: to adopt.

Religiously speaking, assumption is the bodily progression from earth to heaven, especially with respect to the Catholic faith. For example, the “Assumption of Mary” was the undisputed account of her being taken up to heaven. The “Assumption of Moses,” however, remains controversial. Those who believed in assumption were called “Assumptionists” (a.k.a. Augustinians, named after St. Augustine) and they established twenty or so colleges around the globe, such as Assumption College in Worcester, Mass. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02104a.htm

Assumption is also the name of towns in Ohio and Illinois, as well as an island in the Seychelles (Indian Ocean), a parish in Louisiana and a river in Quebec, Canada.

In a game like CLUE, or a modern spin on it, Crime Scene Investigation (CSI) the board game, players make assumptions based on a natural process of deducing a certain set of facts and forming a guess about the crime. In real life, a detective makes assumptions that might be proven correct or false, leading to other conclusions.

Because an assumption can be proven false, there is the old adage: “When you assume, you make an ass of you and me.” This joke might be funny in a variety of “assumption” contexts: mathematical modeling, real property law (transferring the mortgage from seller to buyer), or reinsurance of policy claims. But perhaps the most unusual type of “assumption” is a fictional Poker game played with Tarot cards, as featured in the novel Last Call by Tim Powers. The stakes are high as they come with a spiritual twist on the usual pot. Players should be wary of this water caveat: “Assumption must never be played over “untamed” water like a natural lake, river, or ocean. Man-made bodies of water like Lake Mead are useful sites for play, and in fact the climactic final game takes place over that lake.” http://www.sff.net/people/lucy-snyder/brain/2005/12/playing-poker-with-tarot-cards.html

Strangely enough, that poker game is not nearly as complex to stake-holders as state assumption of the Section 404 program under the Clean Water Act is for states. In this context, assumption is the states’ option to apply to adopt the regulatory authority for the 404 program, which regulates dredge and fill activities in streams and wetlands.  Currently there are only two states, Michigan and New Jersey, which have assumed the 404 program. Other states have shown great interest and yet, few people outside of state wetland programs have heard of assumption. I know a little about it because I had to become an expert on the subject after two years of research. I developed fact sheets on assumption for the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the Army Corps of Engineers. Everything I learned about it is posted on this webpage I put together for ASWM here. 

ASWM and the Environmental Council to the States, as well as EPA and a number of states have been working to clarify the application process for states to assume §404. The group is drafting a handbook, which will offer much needed guidelines to states.http://aswm.org/wetland-programs/s-404-assumption

And by the way, if Strange Wetlands ever takes on a swamp rock cover band, they’ll be called the Assumptionists.

The “Other” Wetland Heroes

Last year I paid homage to the fictional characters, Mark Trail and Swampthing, as unsung wetland heroes. But what of others? Let’s not forget Ranger Rick. As a kid, I looked forward to receiving my monthly issue of Ranger Rick magazine in the mail. I inhaled the stories. I treasured the magazines like they were living things. My mother kept one issue with a coiled-up snake on the cover in a basket of secrets so I would not snoop. When passing the basket, I gave it a wide berth as if the magazine snake might come alive and spring. I learned a lot about nature and wildlife from reading Ranger Rick.

Today the raccoon dressed as a park ranger, “Ranger Rick,” continues to teach kids about wildlife and the natural world. For instance, here Ranger Rick educates kids about wetlands and the Gulf oil spill: http://www.nwf.org/Kids/Ranger-Rick/People-and-Places/Ranger-Rick-on-the-Big-Oil-Spill.aspx Ranger Rick also teaches kids about the importance of wetlands: http://www.nwf.org/Kids/Ranger-Rick/People-and-Places/Whats-a-Wetland.aspx Kids today might suggest another environmental hero close to their hearts (and DVD players): Shrek, the swamp-dwelling ogre, fights development pressures from the royal kingdom and restores balance in his wetland home. http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0002004/ A different generation might think of a certain Muppet, who lived in a swamp and sang, “It’s not easy being green…”Of all the comic book heroes, it is safe to say thatCaptain Planet is a well-recognized environmental hero. His main role is to protect the planet and all its natural splendor, wetlands included. EPA’s Wetlands Program worked with the creators of theCaptain Planet cartoon series, especially an episode called “Jail House Flock,” which taught kids about the importance of wetlands.http://www.turner.com/planet/mission.html Watch the episode depicting the eco-emergency about migratory birds and destruction of wetlands here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur-Kss-yTxwEco-geeks to the rescue!

Often comics and cartoons take an extreme slant in portraying heroes and villains to communicate an environmental message. In the Swampthing comics, a recurring anti-hero called Floronic Man, aka Jason Woodrue, feels that humans are destroying the Everglades. Unlike Swampy, who’s fairly conscientious in his noble attempts to save the wetlands, Floronic Man plots for the plants to take over to the point of killing developers with a chainsaw.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floronic_Man Man-Thing was another large misunderstood, empathic human-plant mutant character living in the Florida Everglades. This Marvel Comic character was criticized for being too similar in origin to Swampthing,even though Man-Thing came from a 1960s comic series called “Tales of Suspense,” which means that he preceded Swampy,who first appeared in 1971. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man-Thing For Strange Wetlands’ Ode to Swampthing, see:http://aswm.org/wordpress/
strange-wetlands-ode-to-swampthing/

Science fiction sub-genres span a wide spectrum of stories that carry an obvious environmental message, from post-apocalyptic, including an obscure comic series called “The Puma Blues,” (1986-1989) featuring wildlife and nature with prose poetryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puma_Blues to fantasy realms of authors like Ilona Andrews (her recent book is called Bayou Moon http://www.ilona-andrews.com/) and Kim Stanley Robinson, who has been called an environmental hero for his series of books(Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars) about the terraforming and settling of Mars, after global climate change has caused wide-spread flooding on Earth.http://sciencefictionbiology.blogspot.com/2008/09/kim-stanley-robinson-hero-of.htmlThere are too many science-fiction authors to name here. If you have one you’d like to recommend, please leave a comment.

Wetland-dwelling protagonists are also abundant in fiction and creative nonfiction. Novels like A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter, The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean and some of Carl Hiaasen’s stories that take place in the Everglades are linked on ASWM’s Book Service On-Amazon, under the categories for fiction and nonfiction here:http://www.aswm.org/propub/bookservice/fiction.htm If after visiting the book list, you have a suggested title to add, please leave a comment.

It’s the End of the Wet World as We Know it: Post-Apocalyptic Movies with a (Lack of) Water Theme

With the release of the 2010 film, “Book of Eli,” people are talking about the post-apocalyptic genre. It begs a nod to some of the cult-classics and popular films from that genre over the decades. One common trend in many “end of the world” movie plots about a futuristic or dystopian Earth is a lack of water, or in the case of “Waterworld,” an over-abundance of it. Here is Strange Wetlands’ take on the top ten post-apocalyptic movies that make you thirsty.

#10 Solar Babies (1986) Teen-agers must endure life on a futuristic Earth, where most of the water has disappeared. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091981/plotsummary

#9 The Road (2009) A father and son make a dark trek across a post-apocalyptic burned America and fight to keep their humanity in a world without plants, an obscured sun, and harsh climate. http://www.imdb.com/
title/tt0898367/plotsummary

#8 Mad Max (1979) Who can resist this action-packed adventure classic with Mel Gibson as the ex-cop turned-hero set in the wastelands of Australia?http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079501/

#7 Dune (1984) A young man uses sand dune ecology to his advantage in a far-futuristic desert world. This is a cult-classic.
http://book-of-eli-movie-trailer.blogspot.com/

#6 Book of Eli (2010) Denzel Washington plays a man on a mission to guard a sacred book. Along the way, water is a coveted resource and dangerous to acquire. http://book-of-eli-movie-trailer.blogspot.com/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1037705/

#5 Tank Girl (1995) A cool Australian flick based on the British comic strip about a group of rebels who fight the corporate Water and Power that controls all of a dystopian Earth’s water.   This is my favorite on this list. Lots of girl power! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114614/

#4 The Age of Stupid (2009) This is a documentary-drama-animation hybrid that asks the question, “why didn’t they stop climate change?” on a futuristic Earth.http://www.imdb.com/title/
tt1300563/

#3 Idiocracy (2006) It’s 500 years into the future, and the world is run by morons who think water is only for toilets and that crops should grow on Gatorade. Many Saturday Night Live comedians star in this cringe-inducing comedy. It gets you thinking…http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/

#2 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) A climatologist discovers that a huge ice sheet has been sheared off in Antarctica. New York City is overwhelmed by the chills of a new Ice Age. Sea level rise is also a theme.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0319262/ As with many science fiction movies, there is some good science and a whole lot of bad science in this film:http://geolor.com/The_Day_After_Tomorrow_Movie.htm

#1 Planet of the Apes (1968) One of the most-loved sci-fi post-apocalyptic stories turns the plot upside down by pitting man against beast on a planet…that turns out to be Earth all along. In the beginning, the astronauts must travel across a desert without water until they are captured by the intelligent Apes.  At the end, Heston rides across a beach searching for his destiny and finds the Statue of Liberty.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31QUOUxqz2Mhttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/

Honorable Mention: Waterworld (1995) The polar ice caps have melted and the Earth is covered (mostly) by water. They search for a mythical place called “Dryland.” This is a sea level rise model gone into hyper drive.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/

Eat Pray Love: What He Doesn’t Know Might Eat Him

Last week there was a praying mantis in the garden. The gardener thought, “well, this could be good or bad, depending on what she eats.” The praying mantis will eat the bad bugs but might eat the good bugs, too. Some species of praying mantids are at home in gardens, but others are found in forested wetlands, meadows, fields and vegetated areas that have mild winters.

Out of thousands of species of praying mantids, only some are the famous praying mantis(Carolina mantid) found all over the world. The praying mantis eats nesting birds, insects, soft-shelled turtles, frogs, snakes, mice. A praying mantis is extremely well-camouflaged to look like leaves, rocks, twigs or whatever environment it inhabits. Its hunting tactic of blending in is only the beginning. A head that rotates 180°, compound eyes, spiked legs, daggers for hooves and lightning-fast reflexes make the praying mantis a perfect predator. She jumps. She flies. She pounces like a cat on unsuspecting prey, piercing and pinning her victim, then devouring the creature even while it’s still alive, and sometimes, during copulation with her mate.

There is a common misconception that a female praying mantis (Carolina mantid) will always eat the head of her mate during or shortly after mating. This really only happens if she is ravenous and there is no other nearby food source, such as, another insect, a mouse, a humming bird. It is especially common when the mating mantids are observed in captivity but less common in the wild.  Maybe it was a female praying mantis who started the post-copulation decapitation rumor, or simply a misunderstanding. The phenomenon is widely referenced in pop culture; there’s even a British heavy metal band called, Praying Mantis. http://www.praying-mantis.com/

Beware:  the videos linked below are graphic.

Nature’s Perfect Predators: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hGuallLPcM
Attacking a hummingbird: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep6vmpcUQR8
Mating in the wild, eating male’s head:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYp_Xi4AtAQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1iF3H9xJ-k
Devouring a mouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNcIUIULafw

Because they are such good predators, praying mantis are often used to control unwanted pests in gardens http://organic-vegetable-gardens.suite101.com/article.cfm/working-with-natures-pest-control and http://www.missmalaprop.com/2010/04/natural-methods-of-garden-pest-control/ Conservation commissions and other groups also mention the use of the praying mantis for the same purpose.

It is also not to be confused with the marine crustacean, the peacock mantis shrimp, aka the “thumb-splitter” or “prawn killer,” which is neither peacocok nor praying mantis nor shrimp but gets its name because it resembles all three:http://news.discovery.com/videos/earth-peacock-mantis-shrimp.html

The Wetland Phobia Factor

When I first started working in the wetlands field, I was warned that it’s a controversial subject, full of drama. It would not be the right area for politicophobes, or those who suffer from liticaphobia, an irrational fear of law suits. A phobia is a persistent, irrational fear of something—an activity, a place, anything—and it compels the afflicted person to avoid certain situations. For example, as a child I wasn’t afraid of ghosts but I was absolutely terrified of rubber Halloween masks. I refused to go into drug stores because they sold masks. As an adult, I like competing in costume contests on Halloween and it’s no longer a phobia. I just don’t like masks. Phobia goes beyond extreme dislike.

I feel sorry for people who are afraid of things found in nature. I have “city friends” who freak out when a squirrel runs by because a squirrel can resemble a rat, and some people are musophobic—afraid of mice and rats. Although many people have a fear of snakes or the well-known arachnephobia, there are some lesser-known phobias that might prevent or dissuade a person from visiting a wetland. First off, limnophobes are terrified of lakes, ponds and marshes, made worse by books about haunted lakeshttp://www.panphobia.com/places/
limnophobia.htm
. Others might worry that a sea serpent or fish, especially if that person is also a bit ichthyophobic, might lurk in the dark water. Hydrophobic people are afraid of water—period. A close relative is hygrophobia, a fear of dampness. After living through several floods, one might develop a case of antlophobia (fear of floods), or become lilapsophobic, if they can’t handle hurricanes. Those afraid of rain suffer from ombrophobia. My mother is a bit gephyrophobic when crossing a bridge but she doesn’t have potamophobia, a fear of rivers.

Although there is no such term palustriphobia for a fear of swamps, there are phobias for things found in swamps. Botanophobic people are afraid of plants, and it gets more specific: pteridophobes are freaked out by ferns. Ornithophobia is a fear of birds, and no wonder when sometimes, birds attack! http://aswm.org/wordpress/661/the-birds-attackin-wetlands-better-put-eyes-on-the-back-of-your-hat/ Even though frogs are endangered, one is too many for someone with ranidaphobia. And if any reptile or amphibian bothers you, you might be batrachophobic. More specifically, a bufonophobe will run away from toads (perhaps a fear of warts?) and a batrachophobe will scurry from a newt or salamander.

Wetlands are often plagued with weather conditions like fog, which would be bad for a homichlophobe. Job descriptions for wetland scientists often warn that candidates, “must be able to deal with frequent insect bites,” a definite problem for anyone with cnidophobia, a fear of stings. Many people are afraid of dragonflies because of the needle-like shape of the insect’s body; in certain cultures, dragonflies are considered good luck but in other places, they are bad signs. Most insect phobias stem from a lack of interaction with insects and misinformation. http://www.insects.org/ced2/insects_psych.html

Some people are afraid of bacteria, which are important members of a balanced ecosystem. Nonetheless, pathophobia, a fear of disease, and blennophobia, a fear of slime, would probably steer the afflicted person away from some types of wetlands, even if only based on historic misconceptions that wetlands were sources of disease. In addition some people might avoid a wetland due to pneumatophobia, a fear of spirits, or bogyphobia, trouble with the Bogeyman. In a Google search, there are no found instances of a phobia related to Swampthing, but just the opposite. People who hunt Big Foot and swamp creatures will tell you a tale of heart-thumping anticipation!http://www.bigfootencounters.com/articles/bridgewater.htm